Frustration and a Little More About My Life....

Well something I may not told you about me is that I am bipolar, I have anxiety and depression, all of which are controlled with a slew of medications.  Well I just started on a new medication, and one of the side effects is weight gain.  I AM on a very low dose, considering there are much higher doses I could be on.  And There are no alternatives to this drug.  The Dr and I agreed that the benefits out weigh the risks, but I am still nervous.  I was on it in the past and had great results I am just hoping it didn't contribute to my weight. Plus on top of that I am being evaluated for something called Sjorgrens Syndrome.    Click on the link to learn more.  But more about that tomorrow or so.   
Also you might have noticed in my heading it says something about me moving and I have not mentioned it.  Well here it goes....
In June, my hubby son and I are moving from Philly to the sticks of Maine!!! Here is the story....(Big breath) The day of my surgery, my father in law passed away..(yea it sucked ass and made it a really weird and crappy recovery week) My MIL and FIL bought a house and moved from the Philly burbs to Maine about 2 years ago leaving everything behind...We have been having a bit of a problem with money lately, and have been stuck in a crappy little apt and want a better life for our son but haven't been able to afford it....MIL asks us to move to Maine with her to #1 help her take care of the house and stuff, #2 so we can save money for our own house and stuff #3 get out of this area, there have been numerous child louring and murders and crap not far from where we live lately. So it is 20-30 min west of portland maine. SOOO excited!!!
(Exhale)
I guess that about sums it up!!  I gotta get the rug rat ready for school!!  Have a great day!  

Changes....

First let me start by telling everybody to drop by Eggface's page and enter her contest for St Patty's Day!  Lots of Stuff to be won!!  http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2012/03/eggface-lucky-leprechaun-giveaway.html

That being said, I have noticed alot of changes over the past few days.  I don't know if I have been walking around with my eyes closed or what, but they are pretty big changes. 

Change #1...I can wrap a towel fully around my body.  Granted it is a beach towel, but still.  

Change #2...I Lost 5 in on my hips and 4 on my waist.  

Change #3...I tried on the bathing suit that I had to order online last year because I couldn't get one cheap enough in a store in my size around where I live.  I was hanging on me in the crotch area and my boobs didn't exist.  So I decided to try on my old bathing suit that had always been tight, even when I bought it at my smallest, beings that it was the biggest size that our Walmart carried.  Or at least had in stock.  And It was actually big on me too!!  Not huge but I could slip easily into it.  I am disappointed that I no longer has cleavage :o(  If anyone knows a way to lift boobs let me know, lol.  I dreaded putting that suit on, especially when it was wet.  It was like trying to put a wetsuit on, lol.  

I looked up my measurements on a size chart on the Walmart website and I am a 26-28, which is still big, but they atleast carry that size in most stores!  

I haven't felt this confident in a long time.  I may...Hang on to your hats...Start to wear make up again!!  I haven't worn make up in at least 7 years, if not longer.  I don't even know if I remember how to do it. I may need lessons, lol.  

Well I am off to put my monster to bed.  

Exercise can be fun!!

First off, I would like to start off my saying I lost a total of 60 pounds!!!  Not since my surgery day but since I started my weightloss journey in Nov.  46 Since my surgery!  


Yesterday was a pretty good day. It has been beautiful here in PA, so I took advantage of it. I took my son outside. At first I didn't feel like doing anything, but he was bugging me to kick the soccer ball back and forth so out of guilt I agreed. To my surprise..I actually enjoyed it! And, I wasn't too winded, that was until about 15 minutes later, lol. Hey it was start. I played soccer from middle school through high school. It seems as if my son inherited my long lost love of soccer. Anyway, If I could do this even a few times a week, it could be beneficial. It occurred to me kicking that ball around, exercise didn't have to be dreadful. I could, believe it or not, enjoy it! Maybe this was the turn around I needed. I, as of late, had been feeling down on myself because my weight hadn't been coming off as fast as I had hoped. I know port of which had to do to to me not exercising enough. Like I said the other day. I was doing everything the Dr said not to do. I am hoping I feel better later today so I can make it outside again. I woke up with a wicked migraine. I didn't even take my monster to preschool. Which would have given me much welcomed peace. But I couldn't even drive. And trying to wake up the other half was a waste of time. He sleeps like a bear deep in hibernation. 
My other goal today is to try to order seamonkey supplies.  As you read in my intro, I do have seamonkeys.  Well they are supposed to be my monsters, but I of coarse end up taking care of them and being interested in them so I am taking claim of them.  They are pretty cool ass things though.  I will post a pic of them later.  One thing I will say is that they like to... ummm....how can I put this politely... procreate...lol.  3 of them are pregnant.  I had to transfer them to a hermit crab tank.  But the only pain in the ass is that you have to get the food either online, mail order, or fax.  All from the same company, but it is alot cheaper to do it mail order or fax.  I am cheap so I am doing it by fax.  Before these poor things run out of food.  Which they claim is supposed to last 1 year...Right, if they have no babies.  I have had these things since Christmas and already and almost out of food.  I am buying 3 packets of the crap.  
Well.  I guess that is all for today.  XO

Protein.....

Ok. So I hate protein shake mixes with a passion. Truth be told I don't get my protein in because of this. I am in need of some sort of alternatives. Tonight I'm gonna explore my options with greek yogurt. I also have to start taking my supplements. It's not even a good taste bad I just forget. piss poor excuse I know. I have to get my ass in gear because next time I have my labs and I don't feel like getting chewed out by my nutritionist and surgeon. It seems like I'm doing everything that they said not to do. I feel like I'm not losing weight fast enough. I've read stories about people that lose weight just fall off. For me I lose a pound almost everyday but looking at me you can't really tell. You can tell in my ass and boobs that's about it. The 2 places I wanna keep it, figures. when I started my weight loss journey I was 283. the day of surgery I was 269 on january fourth 2012. Currently I am 225. at 5ft2 that puts me at a bmi of 41. considering when I started I had a bmi of around 50, I guess it's not that bad.